Start Again

Another day, another plan,
cancelled once again.
The days pass by this way,
I don’t know where they go.

Walking in my sleep,
never going too deep;
Caught between too many thoughts,
and I can’t pin them down.

I’ve been around, and round again —

It’s always so frustrating
pulled so many ways, but nothing’s changed.
I rearrange my lists, trying to make them fit
with where and when —

Just waiting for the right time
to start again.

So I say I aim to try
to recalibrate my mind —
Find my way back to the start,
to where the road parted.

It’s partially excuse
and partially the truth —
Who can know the line dividing
sloth from deep intent?

I try again, but what’s to show?

I know that it’s frustrating,
coming home to find that nothing’s changed;
I’ve rearranged the way I see the world —
it’s no small thing.

Just waiting for the right time
to start again.

Maybe I should take a small detour,
on a road where no one goes,

They say the path untaken
is the one where I should be —
but then again, who really knows?

For Robert Frost, they say
was misinterpreted so many ways —
and I don’t want to be misunderstood.

Despite my best intentions
I’m exactly where I am,
trying to sort the forest from the wood.

But finding my way back
is not an easy task,
molehills making mountainous terrain —

So I’ll stand here in the moment
breathing out of all that’s past —

Waiting for the right time
to start again.

© Zarina Dara 2017. All Rights Reserved

First published in Written Tales, July 2017